Two Things Can Be True At Once: A Guide to Emotional Flexibility and Growth

Learning to understand the concept of "two things can be true at once" has profoundly impacted my personal and professional growth. This idea has helped me step away from rigid, black-and-white thinking, opening up space for nuance, empathy, and emotional flexibility. By embracing this perspective, I’ve learned to honor my own feelings while giving room for others' experiences, even when they appear contradictory.

It’s taught me not to take things so personally and to avoid spiraling into hurt feelings when faced with complex interpersonal dynamics. Instead, I’ve discovered how to coexist with differing truths, which has strengthened my relationships and emotional resilience.

What it Means:

1. Holding Space for Duality: Life is rarely an either/or situation. Instead, it’s often both/and. Embracing this idea allows us to reconcile seemingly opposing emotions, desires, or perspectives.

2. Emotional Maturity: Recognizing dual truths teaches us to approach situations with a balanced mindset. We don’t have to choose one truth over another; both can coexist.

3. Improved Communication: This understanding fosters healthier conversations by validating everyone’s perspective without dismissing your own.

Examples:

1. Friendship & Conflict:

   • You can feel hurt by something a friend said and also deeply value and appreciate their friendship.

2. Parenting:

   • You can be proud of your child for their independence and also feel sad that they no longer rely on you as much.

   • You can love your child unconditionally and still need to enforce consequences for their behavior.

3. Marriage & Partnership:

   • You can feel frustrated by your spouse’s actions and also feel immense gratitude for their presence in your life.

   • You can want time alone and still deeply cherish the time you spend together.

4. Workplace Dynamics:

   • You can respect your boss for their leadership skills and also disagree with their approach to handling a specific issue.

5. Self-Reflection:

   • You can feel disappointed in yourself for making a mistake and still be proud of your overall progress.

   • You can feel overwhelmed and still be grateful for the opportunities causing the overwhelm.

6. Boundaries:

   • You can love someone deeply and still recognize that maintaining boundaries is necessary for your well-being.

How This Concept Can Transform Your Relationships:

• Reduces Defensiveness: Instead of feeling attacked when someone criticizes you, you can acknowledge that their perspective might have validity without negating your own feelings.

• Builds Empathy: Seeing others' emotions or actions as not necessarily in opposition to yours allows for deeper connection and understanding.

• Encourages Growth: Accepting dual truths helps you move through discomfort and find balance in situations that used to feel unmanageable.

A Practical Exercise to Explore Dual Truths:

1. The next time you feel conflicted, pause and write down the two truths that feel contradictory.

2. Reflect on how they can coexist without canceling each other out.

3. Practice validating both truths and notice how it shifts your perspective.

For example:

• "I’m angry that my partner forgot my birthday, and I also know they love me deeply."

• "I feel scared about a big change, and I also feel excited about the new opportunities it might bring."

By learning to hold space for complexity, you can embrace life with greater flexibility and emotional strength. This mindset doesn’t just change how we see others—it transforms how we see ourselves.